Apple=polly=loggies to all me droogies. I have been *elsewhere* the past forty days and forty nights, eating stale bread and drinking dank water alive with little beasties. I have gained much insight of the navel-contemplation variety, but no enlightenment or nirvana has managed to penetrate my polacko brain during the journey.
My flippin' laptop crashed and burned in the computer chip equivalent of a whte-hot conflagration. There I was in Augusta, Georgia, about a mile away from the most famous cracker-ass golf course in the world. I was supposed to be performing high-level consulting-type services. I sat in a boring, windowless conference room with stale air and no internet access. I turned on my box and and and nothin', not one flippin' thing. Dell customer service was great. It only took them 15 minutes to diagnose the death of the motherboard. Bloody hell. To make matters worse, i discovered once I got home that the hard drive was kaput. Ka-PUT! "Probably a power surge," smirked the dip-shit Geek Squad kid. I sent the hard drive to Advanced Computer Services in Orlando, Florida. No dice. Forensic recovery failed me.
Nothin on that hard drive was worth a crap to me except 12,000 words conceived, written, re-written and smoothed into a kid's chapter book that I had worked on with editorial assistance from my daughters. Gone forever. Hopefully fresh enough in my mind to be re-created somehow. Now I must start over. Back-ups have also failed to penetrate my polacko brain.
This incident caused me to go out into the desert and discover my true self. I grew a great beard, except there is too much grey in it. The devil himself tried to tempt me to buy another Dell, but I cast him down a mountain. (Not really, jk in case the New Mexico State Police have found the body.) I walked and walked and walked. Luckily i was wearing the new neoprene Nike sandals DW bought for me.
So I am back! And my brackets were trashed by late Friday night! But I have a new iBook G4! The Lanky One is BACK! MWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
